Have you ever canceled dinner plans with friends because you knew your stomach would turn on you at the worst possible moment?
Maybe you’ve dashed to the bathroom at a fancy restaurant and prayed no one would notice.
Or perhaps you’ve given up on the gym because even gentle workouts flare your IBS symptoms and wipe you out.
When you’re dealing with chronic bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and that foggy brained, never-rested feeling, it’s easy to slip into survival mode because managing your gut health becomes another full-time job.
But here’s the truth that rarely gets talked about: your partner’s support (or lack thereof) can make or break your healing journey.
If you’ve ever silently thought, “He doesn’t get it—why can’t he just show up for me the way I need?” you’re not alone.
In episode 28 of Resolve IBS and IBD Naturally (Spotify and YouTube), I chatted with life coach Damien Rader about how men often struggle when a loved one faces chronic digestive issues—especially IBS, IBD, or autoimmune disorders that affect gut health.
Damien’s insights shed light on why you might feel unsupported and what you (both of you, actually) can do to ease this tension.
Why Men Go Passive (and What to Do About It)
Damien explained that many men feel compelled to “fix” things. But when it comes to a holistic approach to healing the gut, the solutions aren’t always straightforward.
On top of that, many men watching the woman they love struggle with her health don’t have the expertise to give her advice. As a result, some men freeze, thinking, “If I can’t fix it, maybe I’ll back away.” This passivity isn’t about not caring—it’s a symptom of feeling powerless.
The solution?
Clear, open communication about what you need in terms of emotional support and other areas of life where he can offer help. Remember that your partner may not automatically know how to help.
Maybe you need him to pick up the kids from school so you can fit in an appointment, or give yourself 20 minutes of down time. Or maybe you just need your partner to be an empathetic listener at the end of the day.
Let him know directly.
What to do when IBS is ruining your life
Your intestines are in knots. You’re living off peppermint tea and you’re turning down every social invitation you get.
Even the thought of explaining “why you can’t eat normal food” for the millionth time exhausts you.
How can you muster the energy to have a deep conversation about your relationship?
Here’s the truth: the time you invest now in clarifying your needs will pay off tenfold later.
If you continue to do everything on your own—“woman warrior” style—you’ll reach a point of complete burnout.
Chronic gut health challenges demand real solutions, not just grit.
Ask him to listen while you describe one specific change you need help with (e.g., meal planning or moral support).
Create small pockets of rest—like a 20-minute break after dinner—and use that time to reset instead of getting just one more thing done.
Shift your mindset from “I’m failing if I slow down” to “I’m healing when I slow down.”
How Taking Care of You Makes Your Relationship Stronger
Damien touched on a powerful concept: vulnerability. If you are living with chronic gut symptoms, you might be feeling angry, withdrawn, or overwhelmed. This can block genuine connection. No matter how much you crave support, it won’t be possible unless you’re willing to say, “I’m struggling here. I need you.”
When you let go of trying to do it all, you create room for your partner to step in. Even small efforts—like doing the grocery run or taking the kids to the park—can lighten your load.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to handling everything alone. But this shift from “I can do it all” to “I’m open to receiving help” allows healing to happen.
Deep down, you know you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. And guess what? When your energy levels improve, so does your ability to invest in the people you love—especially your partner. It’s a beautiful cycle of mutual support.
You Don’t Have to Suffer Alone—Take the First Step to Holistic Gut Relief
Maybe you’ve tried everything: elimination diets, endless probiotics, expensive labs, even the “tough it out” approach.
If you’re still in pain, feeling isolated and anxious, or snapping at loved ones because you’re physically and emotionally drained, it’s time for a new approach—one that addresses all the hidden factors behind diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and other chronic gut symptoms.
I’ve been where you are—trapped by IBS flare-ups and losing hope with every treatment that fails again.
That’s why I created The Tame Your Gut Program, a 3-month intensive that includes:
Root Cause Testing to uncover underlying triggers
Holistic Supplement Protocols tailored to your unique needs
Nutritional and Health Coaching to pinpoint and eliminate food triggers
Stress Management Tools to calm your nervous system and restore balance
If you’re ready to break the cycle and reclaim your life:
Click here to schedule your free 15-minute Gut Check Call
Ask any questions you have about the program.
We’ll see if it’s the right fit for you.
Remember: you deserve more than just “living with it.” If your gut struggles are robbing you of your happiness, your energy, and your relationships, you would get so much value from a Gut Check Call.
Because, yes, it’s possible to accept dinner invitations and go out with friends without any second thought given to needing to run to the bathroom.
It’s possible to feel calm in your own body, show up for the people you love, and drop the extra baggage—both literal and emotional—that’s been weighing you down.
You deserve to live fully. Let’s make it happen—together.
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